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Monday, 30 March 2009

Wednesday, 17 December 2008

  • Alright, so I'm going to make good on my promise and continue to update periodically as opposed to sporadically once every blue moon ( I really hate trite sayings).

    It has come to my attention that not all teenagers are liberal and some are actually radically conservative. Despite the fact that I don't particularly like my Contemporary Lit teacher, she is able to start intriguing debates and conversations in relation to the book we read. So we were up to this part in Macbeth concerning fleeing the battlefield and and she asked the question whether parents in today's world would feel shame if their child decided to abandon the war and flee in order to save himself/herself. Most people agreed that their parents would instruct them to put their best effort in and if they panic and feel the situation has grown to be detrimental to their life, if they need to leave, it would be alright. Well, everyone was in accord, until one guy decided to speak up.

    "If you leave the battlefield, that's basically saying you hate America. That wouldn't really fly with my dad, let's put it that way and I would never leave the scene. I signed up for the army so why would I leave?"

    Let's start off with the fact that by first impressions, this guy seems extremely liberal. That political category just fits his personality. But once a political debate ensues, expect a hardcore radical republican to unveil.

    What hit me the most was his belief that leaving the battle is synonymous to hating America. Haven't we all at some point in our lives felt sure and prepared for something, but once the time came to execute, we panicked and abandoned? I know I have. So why is leaving the battle any different? Granted, it is probably not the most patriotic act to do, but I believe that most human  beings have a selfish instinct instilled within them and at the end of the day, it's saving your behind over anyone else's. To those who are selfless and exhibit a sense of comradeship in situations like those, I applaud you. Honestly, I don't know what I would do if I was in an open plain with bullets whizzing past me. Most likely, I'm not going to lie, I would leave. This is not to say that I am a selfish person because I am always ready to help those in need. But in a situation like that, it would be hard for me to put the life of someone else over mine (Unless of course they have risked their own life to save mine before).

    I hope a draft does not occur anytime soon because I believe that all those who enlist in the war should do so voluntarily. It is hard to expect someone to fight for a cause that they do not support or are afraid of the battlefield if they were drafted into the situation.

    I don't know. I mean all I can say right now is good luck to the troops that are overseas who put their lives on the line everyday. I can't say that I would ever voluntarily enlist though.

    Two more days until Chris arrives.


Wednesday, 10 December 2008

  • After months of abandonment, yet spent browsing other weblogs, I feel that I'm at a point where I should update what's going on in my life again.

    I'm on the college path and more or less finished. I visited Campbell University and Chapel Hill over the summer with my parents. Yes, my dad agreed to drive us down to NC. Strange to think that two years ago the mere mention of a NC college was taboo in my house. Yet, here I am, sitting her with an acceptance letter in my hand from Campbell and I couldn't be more happy. I'm excited for this new upcoming journey. I feel like I'll get a fresh start with friends and setting. The perk of living independently from my parents is quite nice though, I must say.

    I'm not going to lie though, I do feel slightly guilty about leaving my mom. But she knew that I was bound to leave someday. Maybe not this far away though.

    As I sit her writing this, I think back to the initial reason why I wanted NC so badly. No, not because of the great schools. Not because of the great pharmacy market.

    Him. My weasel.

    And he's still here. Almost three years later, he's still a part of my life in yes, "that way." When my government teacher asked me how long we have been together I answered him and he replied, "What is monogomy like the cool thing to do as a teenager these days?"

    No, it's not the "cool thing." I am happy with what I have. He's my best friend and my boyfriend. Why would I waste three years of my time on someone who I don't love? Let's be realistic here though, most teenagers don't carry on such lengthy relationships, especially into college. Yes, sometimes I wonder if I can really be with the same person I've been with since I was 15 for the rest of my life. Never dating other people. Can't kiss other guys. Can't experiment/sleep with others. It's a pretty closed off world. But why leave something great for something that maybe, sorta, kinda, i don't know, perhaps, has potential? Let me put it this way, I have a promise ring on my hand and I don't plan on taking it off anytime soon.

    I want high school to be over though. It didn't exactly turn out the way I planned it would. But, I don't think anything ever does. Maybe that's why I shouldn't have such insanely high hopes for college. I've learned to take my life day by day and not plan too far ahead. It saves me a great deal of disappoint, honestly.

    Frienships have changed. Relations are different. I talk to people who I never thought I would speak with and there are some people who I walk by as if we don't know each other's name, despite being close friends for a long time. People change. I've changed. You don't know me is all I can say. But yeah, some people think they have me all figured out. Maybe they should figure themselves out first. Even though you don't read this, you know who you are. At least I wish you do.

Wednesday, 23 April 2008

  • Not finished...

    10 Random Facts About Me
    10. I brush my hair only when I'm in the shower.
    9. I make random noises at random times...a lot.
    8. I almost never wash my make-up off before I go to bed.
    7. I sleep with two bears every night; one small one from the BF and a big one from when I was 8.
    6. My favorite color is purple, hence the purple walls in my room.
    5. I'm addicted to chapstick.
    4. ChrisJohnIrinaAlexTomeSofiaIgor....'nuff said.
    3. I sing a lot when I'm home by myself.
    2. I keep ticket stubs from every movie date I've gone on with him.
    1. I prefer one-on-one hangouts as opposed to large group settings.

    9 Places I Want to See Before I Die
    9. Spain
    8. Greece
    7. California
    6. England
    5. France
    4. Hawaii
    3. Brazil
    2. Germany
    1. Italy

    8 Bands That I Love
    8. Death Cab for Cutie
    7. Killswitch Engage
    6. Children of Bodom
    5. Metallica
    4. Trivium
    3. Breaking Benjamin
    2. ACDC
    1. System of a Down

    7 States I Have Visited
    7. Pennsylvania
    6. New Jersey
    5. Virginia
    4. Connecticut
    3. Florida
    2. North Carolina
    1. New York

    6 Hopes For the Future
    6. Successful Career
    5. Meet great new people
    4. House
    3. See the world
    2. Have kids
    1. Get married

    5 Goals for Summer
    5. Volunteer
    4. Write college essays
    3. Beach/pool more often
    2. Work out
    1. Driver's Ed

    4


Sunday, 09 March 2008

  • A Dose of Clarity

    Each breath cuts at my lungs as if the oxygen is filled with shards of glass. To inhale is to suck in the dirt and dust that the world has to offer me. To exhale is to release a dose of clarity, showing that my insides are not pure and are in fact, tainted.

    “Stop breathing.”

     Things aren’t the same anymore and the laughter that filled all the right voids and vacancies has found a new habitat, one that does not reside in me. It’s like a dream that refuses to take me back to the time when our relationship was normal and we were just that, normal.

     “Don’t wake up.”

     Lately, the elephant in the room won’t budge and I am left on the other side, unable to reach you. An anchor weighs me down and my attempts at salvation are futile. Salvation, that is, for myself and more importantly, for our friendship.

                 “Cut the rope.”

    We’re playing for keeps in the game of chance, but continue to lose as snake eyes stare blatantly at us. With each roll, we lose more and the hope of rekindling our faith in each other dwindles.

                 “Quit playing.”

    I don’t have much to say to you these days. It kills me to say that, and even less, to write that. Despite my desperate search for a cure for this malady, no magic pill is to be found. A bitter feeling walks beside me from day to day and I can’t seem to shed the shadow. Perhaps someday a new light will fall on us.

                 “Keep trying.”

nbdyzangel

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    • Country: United States
    • State: New York
    • Metro: Brooklyn
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 5/31/2004
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